(Captain Tattoo) OK, so it’s nearly Valentine’s Day again. Did you forget? Are you kidding? Valentine’s Day is THE most important holiday of the “entire” year in the “entire” universe. Just ask her. Now don’t screw it up! If you’re like most guys, and I’m sure you are (you’re a guy right?) you’ve fallen into the pit of despair of not knowing what is the right thing to do for Valentine’s Day at least once. It’s a big Catch 22, can you ever get it right? It takes some guys years to figure out that roses and chocolates every year really gets old. By that time they’re in a hole so deep the only way out is to buy her diamonds. So what have you saved…? Never fear, we have a sure-fire way to please and impress her without breaking the bank.
Fix her a first class, uptown dinner.
Don’t Panic! It’s easier than you think and I’m here to walk you through it step by step. Like anything worthwhile it takes a “little” effort. The shopping list sounds extensive, but it’s really not. You can get it all in fifteen minutes. It may sound expensive but it’s not. I promise you will save a ton of money and get a whole lot more out of it (wink, wink); unless, of course you plan on taking her to Mikey D’s for Valentine’s Day. In that case, you’re on the wrong web-site.
Eating-in has a lot of benefits like not leaving the house, not driving after a few cocktails, heck you don’t even have to get dressed. You can do it in your pajamas (nudge). Check this out.
Step One: The Flowers
Stop by the Piggly-Wiggly* and pick up some flowers. No kidding, stop by The Pig, or your local mega-grocery and pick up a bouquet. Don’t call the florist. I promise it’s not necessary. (Save your money!) The Pig usually has pretty nice flowers and they’re cheap. In fact, get two bouquets. Not the roses! That’s so….last century. If you don’t have a vase, get one. They’re really cheap and it will come in handy next year too.
Step Two: The Champagne.
Don’t freak out. Champagne doesn’t have to be really expensive to be good. If you don’t already know it, Champagne is very romantic, tasty and packs quite a wallop. (Bonus!) You’ll thank me later. In fact, if you follow my directions for Champagne Cocktails you can get by with a very inexpensive bottle and REALLY start her engine (if you know what I mean).
If you’re “Mister Big Spender” you can spend $100-150 on a bottle of Dom Perignon or Cristal but that would really be a waste with Champagne Cocktails. You could spend $40-50 for Moet and Chandon, White Star or Perrier-jouet but that’s really not necessary at all. For Champagne Cocktails I prefer good old American made Korbel Brut at $11-15 a bottle. (See I told you not to freak.)
Korbel is an old California winery dedicated to nothing but Champagne made with the old world style of “Methode Champanoise”. Believe me, I’ve tried them all. You can get better, but not for the price. DO NOT GO CHEAP. If you go any cheaper with the bubbly you do so at your own peril.
Tip: Pick up two bottles. She’ll probably want more. I prefer Korbel, Extra Dry for the second bottle without the added ingredients of the cocktail. It’s your call.
The only complication you may have is serving Champagne. Champagne really requires the proper glass. It is meant to be tasted from a tall flute. I’m not really sure how to improvise around that. If you figure a way, please let me know. Champagne lovers like me and my girl can drink it out of most anything but it really, really does taste better from a flute. If you’re serious about this action I’d suggest you beg, borrow or buy a couple of inexpensive (not plastic) Champagne flutes at the mega-mart.
Now get the sugar cubes and the Bitters for the cocktails.
Step Three: Hor d’ ouvers
When you pop the top on that sweet bubbly and she tastes that first Champagne Cocktail, you’re gonna need some tasty treats. These are easy, simple, elegant, tasty and above all romantic. Do It! This is where she says, “He really does love me.” Besides, it’s cruel to be doin’ your chef thing for her while she sits there hungry.
Somewhere in the deli section you’ll find a small package of Smoked Salmon. There are only two of you (I hope), so get the smallest one. Slide by the dairy section and grab a small package of cream cheese. To top it off, hit the Gourmet isle and find a small jar of Capers (that’s C. A. P. E. R. S.). Trust me on this.
Don’t get the great big ones. Those are for Martini’s
Somewhere close you’ll find the Caviar.
I know…I know…fish eggs! I thought the same thing.
Dude, if you haven’t tried it don’t knock it. You won’t be able to find the really good caviar at the Pig, but you can get the cheaper Lumpfish variety (I prefer the black caviar). It’s a whole lot cheaper (under $10 compared to $100) and you’ll get just as much mileage out of it, believe me.
Regarding Caviar, I have one word for you…Salt. You’re a guy, right? You know salt, right? Well, Caviar is kind of like tiny paint-balls filled with salt that burst in your mouth. Give it a shot. Hey, you may never like it or you may learn to love it like I have. I can eat the stuff with a spoon. But, don’t do that, she won’t be impressed. Caper berry’s are sort of like bigger, pickled, salty paintballs, great with bubbly. Now, grab some small unsalted, unflavored crackers or a plain bagel for theSmoked Salmon and Caviar hor d' ouvers.
Pick up some small, decent, dark chocolates too (not the big, stupid, heart shaped box of cheap chocolates) She loves chocolate and it’s great with Champagne.
Step Four: You’ll like this step.
Stop by the liquor store and pick up some brandy. I’d recommend you don’t go cheap, but that’s because I like brandy. I usually get the best bottle of Courvoisier I can afford. It lasts a long…long…time, even with my girl who just loves Champagne Cocktails. DO NOT get the cheap, flavored brandy you can carry in your hip pocket while hitch-hiking. (Grow up dude.) Even if you have to get mini-bottles, get some decent brandy, please. You’ll only need about 1/2 oz. per cocktail and you’ll get four cocktails per bottle of bubbly. So you only need two to four ounces for tonight.
Step Five: The Main Course
I hate to put it this way, but the truth is it really doesn’t matter what you fix for a main course. By the time you finish with the flowers, Champagne cocktails, the hor d’ ouvers, music and candle light…DUDE! You are IN! Heck you could probably pull out a sack of chicken nuggets and STILL have a great night.
But seriously, you know your way around a grill right. Steak and potatoes is cool. Kabob’s are great. Nibbling hor d’ ouvers and sipping Champagne around a hot grill on a cold February evening “can” be romantic. It depends on the girl. Seafood would be super. Clams, lobster or mussels would be fine. It all depends on what she likes, what’s available and your skill level. There are plenty of dishes to choose from here on RecipeDirect.Net, regardless of your skills. You don’t want to over-reach and blow this fine evening. Stick with what you are good at and comfortable with. If you really, really want to impress her, prepare one of these fantastic dishes.
(1) Pork fillets flambe’ (2) Rack of lamb(3) Grilled lamb (4) Pan Seared Beef.
Step Six: Dessert
For dessert you have the chocolate.
She loves chocolate.
She loves chocolate and Champagne.
She really loves chocolate covered strawberries and Champagne.
She’s really lovin’ you about now.
If you’re ambitious, or skilled, or really, really love her, you can try one of these really super deserts.
(1) Chocolate covered Strawberries(2) Chocolate Crepes(3) Fried Chocolate Truffles
Now, while she savors “another” glass of bubbly, she can watch you clear the table while you mentally total all the “Jack” you just saved. To do this “downtown” would have cost you easy $200-300 plus tip, plus parking, plus the DUI and suspended license. You just got off with a really first class evening for well under $100, you’re just a few steps from “heaven” and she won’t go to sleep on the way home!
As that thought comes to mind, you’ll begin to smile as you sit close to her in the candle light, look deep into her eye’s and whisper, “Who love’s you baby.”
*Yes, Virginia, there really is a Piggly Wiggly. It’s not just a southern joke. Piggly Wiggly (affectionately known as “The Pig”) is a large southern supermarket chain. Started in Memphis, Tennessee in 1916 as the world’s first “self-serve” grocery market, the uniquely named company has grown to 600 stores in 17 states.
Article courtesy of Captain Tattoo
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